It’s so funny how life goes round…and things we couldn’t understand before make their way back around and suddenly we see clearly what we couldn’t see before. Usually because the light is shining just a little bit differently.
All of the events of the past few months have entwined themselves into something that I couldn’t see before. Changes are just that – changes. If we could see them coming, they’d be just…events. Things. Stuff. Changes are hard. But if we don’t roll with the punches, we could end up limiting our own growth.
I’m not sure if things will be better or worse, but I can tell you I’m going to learn. And I’m going to grow. Because the other other option is to remain stagnant and I’m just not interested in that. Life is meant to be experienced – and if what we’re going to experience is going to be through a different lens than we had planned, the only option we have is to refocus.
We’re not always going to know what is ahead and we’re not always going to see what’s coming. But if you are confident and secure in your abilities, you’re going to adapt. And you’re gonna be just fine.
Sometimes I’m glad I don’t see what’s up ahead – the less time I have to think about something, the less I’m going to overthink it. And with everything that’s changed in the past eight weeks, I was able to take yet another change in stride. It’s going to be different and it’s going to be challenging, but I’m not afraid.
So at this point, if you have something new coming at you, roll with it. Just see what happens. Prepared or unprepared, you’re going to learn something about life and more importantly, yourself, through it. And you might just be surprised with how well you handle it.
I’m not one for resolutions so I didn’t write a New Year’s post. My experience with resolutions is common – they’re dead within a matter of weeks. What I try to do is make some goals and create a realistic plan to get them accomplished. I don’t always complete them, but I usually get a lot further than not starting at all.
January 26th has become somewhat of a special day to me. Not only is it Dana’s birthday, but it became one of the most pivotal days of my life. In 2018, it was the day I sold my house, worked the final day of my 17+ year job at Arbor, bought out my car, said some tearful goodbyes and set out in my trek to the West. I ended up in Columbus for the night, so just add “leaving my home state” to that list as well.
This picture was after all of those events that day, plus an eight hour car ride. I had grabbed some food, cranked the AC, and laid down for one of the best sleeps of my life. I was exhausted but happy to be on the journey. Friends – I’m not gonna lie. A week later I was in Colorado Springs at April’s house having a meltdown/bawl fest cause “what the hell did I just do?” Bawled. Like a thirteen year old with her first breakup. But with grown up reasons. Just ask April. I was a hot mess. I’d like to say that was the only time, but I’d be lying. It wasn’t.
But here we are, two years later. And, as most of you know, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Moving out here and learning a new job and finding new friends was scary as shit. And it didn’t always work. I’m still learning. But I have way more self-confidence, I freaking love my job and this is just a most beautiful place to live in. It’s the weirdest thing – sometimes I still feel like I’m on an extended trip and there’s an end in sight, but I’m very comfortable here and still exploring what it has to offer. There is so much to see and experience. Like the rodeo I just went to. Where’s that been all my life???
I know this isn’t the first time I said it, but I’ve been thinking about it again so here it is. Be brave. Take those opportunities. Create some if they’re not there. Live. Be scared. Breathe. Pray. And then get out there and figure it all out. Then breathe again and take a moment to enjoy where you are. It may not be where you want to go, but every step of the journey is important. We need them to get to the next steps. Then get moving again. Change is good. It can hurt, but it’s growth. If you have a chance, take it. I did and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. Don’t worry what others tell you, go with God and your gut. You’re the one living your life – not other people. Now – go rock it.
This one could also be called “Perspective Brings Contentment” but that just sounds boring, right?
If you read my last post, you know that last week was a “fun” week for me. Looking back, I could have handled so many things differently. (Self-reflection has been a thing for some of us at work this past year and man – is it ever a joy. Sike.) It wasn’t the worst, but I let so many things affect me in a negative way that, if viewed in a different light, really weren’t the end of the world. They were hard and there was no getting out of them, but totally deal-able. (For those of you who have been trying to tell me this for weeks/months/years, you can say it now. You told me so. And I’ll say this – you were right.) Some things I handled well and there were lots I didn’t.
It started with someone calling out for two days whom we were almost sure was going to end up quitting. This person was just plain miserable in what they were doing. While they were out, yours truly was covering for them and found a lot of incomplete items and some items simply not even started. Then, there was an incident that was not our fault, but some of our fault, that I ended up taking the fallout for. Talking to a friend that night, I asked for some advice as it seemed I needed to do something differently. “Be simple and to the point” he said. “Don’t be wordy, just state the issue, tell them to do their job and move on.” Guess what? I was given an opportunity to use that advice the next morning and it was pretty dang effective. See? I listen. Sometimes.
So by Wednesday morning my blood pressure was up to 137/107 and I was completely done in. We have a team meeting on Wednesday mornings and, since one of my guys took ownership of that meeting, I get to take a step back. (Yay for delegation!) During the meeting, he eluded to some of the issues and asked me to elaborate. I laid out some of the issues and basically said that everyone needed to be there everyday and get their own work done and stop worrying about everyone else. (I swear I can almost relate to parents some days! lol) A few of the guys took up the mantle and started to motivate the rest of them. It was pretty entertaining actually.
Afterwards, one of my employees caught me in the shop and asked me to walk with her. She wanted to offer to take over the job of the first guy in this story as she has done the job before. Her current job was pretty streamlined and would be a better fit for the first person that was struggling. We talked about it, worked out some kinks and guys, I practically cried. For those of you who know me, I cry about four to maybe six times a year so that’s something. This was a HUGE weight off of my shoulder as she was previously going to transfer to another department but decided she couldn’t leave me. (Right??? How cool is that?)
We offered the job transfer, everyone was happy and they started cross-training. All by lunchtime. Yep. We didn’t mess around on this one. When she did go to lunch, she brought me back a little present. (I may or may not have almost cried again.) It’s little and simple, and men’s (LOL) but they brought me back socks that said “World’s Best Boss”. People apparently go to lunch at Target and it’s a beautiful thing.
Another cool part of this story is a verse my friend sent me that Monday morning. Neither she nor I had any idea of how it was going to be a part of all of this, but that is one of my favorite parts. Check out Ephesians 3:20. Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.
When she gave me this verse, it was about another work/life issue entirely, but do you see how well it worked in this situation? I didn’t come up with that idea, wasn’t even in part of my strategy – at all. Something was going on behind the scenes that I had no idea about and guess what? It was more than I even asked or thought.
If that wasn’t good enough, I drug my fine self to church on Sunday (it was one of those days I wanted a date with my bed but my friends convinced me to go) and got totally God-slapped. This is where the perception leads to contentment thing comes in. The lesson was this – our perspective has a direct link to our contentment. Who we go through things with, how we react to them, what we learn from them and how we benefit from them is all related. Rewind the past week or two and, if viewed with a different perspective, my experiences would be a great deal different. More than likely in the positive light.
Here’s one of the things we say at work a lot though – “Mistakes are proof you are trying”. If I wasn’t going through some of the things I did/am still going through, there would be no lesson to learn. Nothing to fall back on to do differently or try another way. The reward, once it comes, will be that much sweeter because I had to work harder for it. And the lessons learned on the way – priceless.
So I have a question for you -Do you normally talk to your neighbors on airplanes or pretty much just sit down with your headphones on and pretend to go right to sleep? Personally, I usually go with the latter. But, sometimes you meet quality people when you least expect it.
Two weeks ago I was on a midday flight from Denver to JFK to meet up with the group I was vacationing with for our flight to Morocco. Due to the time difference, I had to get out of Denver earlier in the day to be in New York for our 8pm group flight. I was technically working that day so I went in early, worked for a few hours and was still clearing up some last minute items while waiting to board the plane.
When I got to my aisle seat, I had my noise-cancelling headphones on, my laptop accessible and I opened it up and continued to work as soon as we reached altitude.
As many of us do nowadays, I glanced at the two people next to me, smiled and went about my business in my own little bubble. I worked for about an hour and then bought lunch when the flight attendants came around. The older lady in the window seat got my attention and let me know the bag from the sandwich I just purchased was leaking. We swapped it out and thus, she saved me from a soggy lunch.
After I finished, I was reaching for my laptop again when the older gentleman next to me taps me and says “Before you get all set up again, I need to see a man about a horse”. I laughed and got up so he could go to the restroom. When he returned, I pulled my laptop out and started back in on my never-ending email.
A few minutes go by and he starts talking to me. So I took my headphones off and found he was commenting on Outlook and how it looked like “some other guy’s program I was sitting next to”. I showed him a few things and he thought it was terrible people had to deal with “that many emails”. That’s when I realized he had a heavy New York accent and that they must’ve been visiting Colorado. My natural curiosity set in and I asked them about their trip.
Turns out this couple has been married for 50 years, raised three kids and put them through college and now travel to see all the things they missed out on. They are in their early 70s and I was surprised as hell to find out how adventurous they are. She even went zip lining in Costa Rica a few years ago!
They were telling me how they toured around Colorado and how they tried a different ethnic restaurant every night. Their favorite was a Thai restaurant were they apparently made friends with the owner. The lady who would buy restaurants, make them profitable, sell them and then go see the world with the proceeds until it was time to do it all over again. The man was fascinated with her as she had a younger boyfriend and said “Man, she was a tiger!” with a big look in his eyes. Cracked me up.
As we talked, I found out he was Ted and she was Bobbi and that Ted had been in the fashion business and the insurance business and that Bobbi had worked at the New York Public Library in the Children’s section for over 40 years. They told me of life in the Bronx, of raising their kids and how she now wants to move to Manhattan and he hates the city. Typical, right?
Ted gave me a tip to use a car service instead of Uber when I came back (I needed to get from a hotel by JFK to LaGuardia at 4am yesterday and it ended out working perfectly). He wanted to hear about my trip when I came back and asked for my email address. I gave him one of my business cards and Bobbi was going to put in her bag. Ted took it right away and says “No, this is going in my wallet!” He was a riot.
All of this to say, I’m so glad he started talking to me – I would’ve missed out on meeting some great people. Don’t get me wrong – there are times I get on a plane and I don’t even want to look at people, let alone talk to them. But with so many people ignoring each other lately, it becomes easier and easier to just ignore them back. After all, they’re strangers.
Ted was true to his word and emailed me the next day. I sent him a reply yesterday when I got back to work and he sent me one right back. He has questions about my trip and what it was like to be in Morocco and he finished it with “it seems to be a good place to sell fence-post diggers”. And – you guessed it – I cracked up again!