Tag: Work; People; Lessons; perspective

You’re Not Who You Were Before

Life changes us. Constantly. We have highs and lows and then extreme highs and extreme lows. There are failures and successes, wins and losses, love and heartbreak. Beginnings and endings and ends and beginnings. Life is a crazy beautiful roller coaster of experiences and growth. Some of it is joyful and some of it is beyond painful. Some of it we never want to go through again – but yet it taught us some of life’s greatest lessons so we’re extremely grateful for (in an odd sort of way).

Then there’s an incredibly crazy thing that happens: we go through our valley experience and when we start climbing back out of it, we naturally start to go back to the way we were before. To our old thought processes and habits and just the way we used to do…all the things. But now, it feels off. Like something’s missing or not fitting correctly and we struggle because…we’re better now. We have it figured out, we clawed our way back to “where we were”, so why does it feel so weird?

You know why? Something so simple and so hard to grasp all at the same time. You’re not the same person. You’re just not. The experiences of what you went through and how you handled it and what you were taught through them, naturally changed you. Or it was a huge God lesson and then you experienced supernatural change.

Whatever it was or whatever it is, you have been changed inside – your heart, your manner of thinking, the emotional access you want to give sparingly instead of fully as you did previously…all of these things have an impact on who you are. And how you want to show up moving forward. Is it a bad thing? Absolutely not.

This is exactly what the parable about new wine in old wine skins is about. New wine expands as it ferments and the wine skins will need to be able to accommodate that expansion. If you put new wine in old wine skins, the old cannot accommodate the new growth, and trying to make it work will end up destroying them both.

I first experienced this when I moved to Tennessee. The new city and new job and not knowing anyone was daunting and a little scary, but hey, I had done all that in Colorado before and figured it all out. So, naturally I thought I just needed to do the same things in Tennessee. Nope. Nothing worked the same way or felt right and things fell apart quickly. It took me a bit, but I met a lady who shared with me that it sounded like I was trying to pour new wine in old wine skins. And it finally clicked.

The first half of 2026 was rough for me – heartbreak and endings and growth and new beginnings, both personally and professionally. The heaviness of work issues and family matters and my own personal growth- all of that has a way of changing a person. The past month or so has been one of seeing the results of that growth and healing and coming back into my own and making my way back to the things that I love and enjoy. All to realize…some of them don’t fit anymore. Or work the same. Or even look the same.

It took some processing to figure out just why I was feeling this way – new wine. Old skins. I don’t want to spill or ruin the new wine, so it needs to go into a new skin. Now, figuring out just what that new skin looks like and feels like is a process all on its own. One of exploration and adventure and development – and I’m learning the more open I am to what that looks like, the more fun the process becomes.

So if you’re going through a new season in life and things are not quite feeling the same or people are not jiving the same or you just don’t have the same feeling of satisfaction- it just may be that you are pouring new wine into an old skin. Once you come out of a season of heaviness or intense growth or extreme happiness, that new skin becomes something to explore and discover. My greatest hope is that you find out who you are becoming and who and what are going to come along with you on your journey. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find.

How We See Ourselves

Do you guys ever experience this?  You’re going about your own business and then someone plays a voicemail you’ve left them and all of a sudden you’re wondering if THAT is really what you sound like?  Or you catch what you look like on a zoom call or FaceTime and wonder why no one told you your eye makeup was smudged and your hair is a hot mess?

We tend to be our biggest fans and our worst critics.  We have this image of how we come across, how others see us, and how we impact others.  Only to see a picture or hear a voicemail and then all bets are off.  We spiral into a freefall thinking about how horrible we look, how much weight we’ve put on, and where the hell did all those gray hairs come from?

We tend to look at ourselves through a kaleidoscope that’s tinted with our own perspective. But you know what? That’s just as twisted as all the colors we used to see when we looked through those things. Because we shouldn’t be as concerned as we are with how we see ourselves (although I firmly believe we all need to fall in love with our own fine selves), as much as we should be concerned with how others see us. Just be kind. To everyone.

Now – let’s be straight here – I still struggle with what others think of me, but I’ve come a long way compared to how I used to be. I watched a TED talk recently where the lady was saying how we think we need “permission, community and curiosity” to have confidence. She slayed me. Really. Cause you know what? So often I’ve looked to others to raise my confidence when I don’t actually need it from them. I can have confidence in my God-given abilities, in my experience and in the opportunity I have been given to share them. If we give ourselves permission to defy expectations and surround ourselves with a community of supporters, who knows where our curiosity will take us?

So walk about in the confidence you’ve just given yourself to have and focus on others – that picture you’re wanting to see will paint itself.