Work – Hoodies and High Heels

You’re Not Who You Were Before

Life changes us. Constantly. We have highs and lows and then extreme highs and extreme lows. There are failures and successes, wins and losses, love and heartbreak. Beginnings and endings and ends and beginnings. Life is a crazy beautiful roller coaster of experiences and growth. Some of it is joyful and some of it is beyond painful. Some of it we never want to go through again – but yet it taught us some of life’s greatest lessons so we’re extremely grateful for (in an odd sort of way).

Then there’s an incredibly crazy thing that happens: we go through our valley experience and when we start climbing back out of it, we naturally start to go back to the way we were before. To our old thought processes and habits and just the way we used to do…all the things. But now, it feels off. Like something’s missing or not fitting correctly and we struggle because…we’re better now. We have it figured out, we clawed our way back to “where we were”, so why does it feel so weird?

You know why? Something so simple and so hard to grasp all at the same time. You’re not the same person. You’re just not. The experiences of what you went through and how you handled it and what you were taught through them, naturally changed you. Or it was a huge God lesson and then you experienced supernatural change.

Whatever it was or whatever it is, you have been changed inside – your heart, your manner of thinking, the emotional access you want to give sparingly instead of fully as you did previously…all of these things have an impact on who you are. And how you want to show up moving forward. Is it a bad thing? Absolutely not.

This is exactly what the parable about new wine in old wine skins is about. New wine expands as it ferments and the wine skins will need to be able to accommodate that expansion. If you put new wine in old wine skins, the old cannot accommodate the new growth, and trying to make it work will end up destroying them both.

I first experienced this when I moved to Tennessee. The new city and new job and not knowing anyone was daunting and a little scary, but hey, I had done all that in Colorado before and figured it all out. So, naturally I thought I just needed to do the same things in Tennessee. Nope. Nothing worked the same way or felt right and things fell apart quickly. It took me a bit, but I met a lady who shared with me that it sounded like I was trying to pour new wine in old wine skins. And it finally clicked.

The first half of 2026 was rough for me – heartbreak and endings and growth and new beginnings, both personally and professionally. The heaviness of work issues and family matters and my own personal growth- all of that has a way of changing a person. The past month or so has been one of seeing the results of that growth and healing and coming back into my own and making my way back to the things that I love and enjoy. All to realize…some of them don’t fit anymore. Or work the same. Or even look the same.

It took some processing to figure out just why I was feeling this way – new wine. Old skins. I don’t want to spill or ruin the new wine, so it needs to go into a new skin. Now, figuring out just what that new skin looks like and feels like is a process all on its own. One of exploration and adventure and development – and I’m learning the more open I am to what that looks like, the more fun the process becomes.

So if you’re going through a new season in life and things are not quite feeling the same or people are not jiving the same or you just don’t have the same feeling of satisfaction- it just may be that you are pouring new wine into an old skin. Once you come out of a season of heaviness or intense growth or extreme happiness, that new skin becomes something to explore and discover. My greatest hope is that you find out who you are becoming and who and what are going to come along with you on your journey. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find.

Gone Country

Do you guys remember a blog post I did earlier this year about feeling unsettled and not sure what was next? (If not, you can read it here…Visibility) Well, that feeling morphed and changed throughout 2021, but it just wouldn’t go away. I just thought it meant different things. As in – I thought I was going to take on a different job within my current company, then I thought that would only be part of it, that I would be growing and be doing a few different things within my job. Or something that would look like that.

When fall came around, I realized I was pretty unhappy with the way things were going in my life and I kept feeling this pull to get away by myself for a few days and do some soul searching . The feeling became so strong that I finally booked a few days at one of my favorite places in Estes Park over Thanksgiving weekend. I wanted to take advantage of the time I had there so I prepared people – like a total nerd! I shut down social media, I packed food and drinks, and I created entire lists in OneNote of things I wanted to think about and work out.

And guess what? I went up there with a purpose and I held on to it with all that I was. I read through my journal I kept for the year, reviewed notes and ideas and got to work. The list of things I wanted to accomplish over the next five years, my lifetime and some things I’d just really like to have it in my life – all of those things got fleshed out and written down. (Honestly, I was pretty proud of myself.)

Of course, I took a few breaks to go to RMNP and into town. I even ate takeout from a really good Italian pizza joint by Lake Estes one night. I had a blast – even though I was by myself for four days. Soaking up the mountains and smelling the evergreens was definitely on the list and was definitely attained! I even stalked a few elk who tried staying at the resorts. Pretty sure I’ll always remember that weekend.

It was a God thing that whole weekend even happened and now I understand why. The events and conversations of the next few days after I came back set in motion something I didn’t see coming right away. Something big. I sure didn’t see it back when I wrote that blog in May. Or even when I did some soul searching in Pagosa over Labor Day Weekend. But life is funny like that. Sometimes things happen in small doses so we can handle it once it comes – or otherwise we’d be freaking the hell out when it does.

I’m not gonna lie – I did a lot of freaking the hell out over the next few weeks because I was scared to death of what was happening and what it was going to mean. And thanks to those of you who were there for me through those days- you kept me sane in a time I needed some help figuring out what to do.

So, what happened Kim? Why were you freaking out? Well, I have some news! I’m moving again. Yes, leaving my beloved “life in a postcard” Colorado for an opportunity in a new state. Think…Elvis. Music City. Smokey Mountains. Y’all – I’m moving to Tennessee! Yep. I’m taking my guitar and my dreams and faded jeans and moving to Nashville! Sike. I don’t own a guitar. You guys know that. But thankfully my musical skills were not part of my interview so I landed a pretty cool job that I’m really excited about.

The other cool thing? I’ll be in driving distance to all my family so I’m pretty stoked about that. Bob will be the closest to me so he’s thrilled that “we’re practically neighbors”. Nashville will sure be a lot closer to Charlotte than Denver!

However, I am once again moving somewhere where I know no one and not much about where I’m going. I’m less anxious about this than when I moved out West, but it’s still gonna be a thing to meet people and get connected again. So if anyone knows anyone and wants to send me some info, I’d really appreciate it.

Otherwise, if anyone wants to come visit or send me notes, please do! I’m excited at the chance to make a difference at a new company and to see where this one leads. I can’t wait to get out and explore the area and post more cool pictures for you guys to enjoy. Mostly, I’m really looking forward to learning and understanding why this was my “next”. I wrote a lot of cool things down during that week in Estes you guys – can’t wait to see what happens!

And just for the record, I had no idea during that weekend that in a few weeks I would be….Gone Country 😉

Clarity

It’s so funny how life goes round…and things we couldn’t understand before make their way back around and suddenly we see clearly what we couldn’t see before. Usually because the light is shining just a little bit differently.

All of the events of the past few months have entwined themselves into something that I couldn’t see before. Changes are just that – changes. If we could see them coming, they’d be just…events. Things. Stuff. Changes are hard. But if we don’t roll with the punches, we could end up limiting our own growth.

I’m not sure if things will be better or worse, but I can tell you I’m going to learn. And I’m going to grow. Because the other other option is to remain stagnant and I’m just not interested in that. Life is meant to be experienced – and if what we’re going to experience is going to be through a different lens than we had planned, the only option we have is to refocus.

We’re not always going to know what is ahead and we’re not always going to see what’s coming. But if you are confident and secure in your abilities, you’re going to adapt. And you’re gonna be just fine.

Sometimes I’m glad I don’t see what’s up ahead – the less time I have to think about something, the less I’m going to overthink it. And with everything that’s changed in the past eight weeks, I was able to take yet another change in stride. It’s going to be different and it’s going to be challenging, but I’m not afraid.

So at this point, if you have something new coming at you, roll with it. Just see what happens. Prepared or unprepared, you’re going to learn something about life and more importantly, yourself, through it. And you might just be surprised with how well you handle it.

Reflection

I’m not one for resolutions so I didn’t write a New Year’s post. My experience with resolutions is common – they’re dead within a matter of weeks. What I try to do is make some goals and create a realistic plan to get them accomplished. I don’t always complete them, but I usually get a lot further than not starting at all.

January 26th has become somewhat of a special day to me. Not only is it Dana’s birthday, but it became one of the most pivotal days of my life. In 2018, it was the day I sold my house, worked the final day of my 17+ year job at Arbor, bought out my car, said some tearful goodbyes and set out in my trek to the West. I ended up in Columbus for the night, so just add “leaving my home state” to that list as well.

This picture was after all of those events that day, plus an eight hour car ride. I had grabbed some food, cranked the AC, and laid down for one of the best sleeps of my life. I was exhausted but happy to be on the journey. Friends – I’m not gonna lie. A week later I was in Colorado Springs at April’s house having a meltdown/bawl fest cause “what the hell did I just do?” Bawled. Like a thirteen year old with her first breakup. But with grown up reasons. Just ask April. I was a hot mess. I’d like to say that was the only time, but I’d be lying. It wasn’t.

But here we are, two years later. And, as most of you know, I wouldn’t change it for the world. Moving out here and learning a new job and finding new friends was scary as shit. And it didn’t always work. I’m still learning. But I have way more self-confidence, I freaking love my job and this is just a most beautiful place to live in. It’s the weirdest thing – sometimes I still feel like I’m on an extended trip and there’s an end in sight, but I’m very comfortable here and still exploring what it has to offer. There is so much to see and experience. Like the rodeo I just went to. Where’s that been all my life???

I know this isn’t the first time I said it, but I’ve been thinking about it again so here it is. Be brave. Take those opportunities. Create some if they’re not there. Live. Be scared. Breathe. Pray. And then get out there and figure it all out. Then breathe again and take a moment to enjoy where you are. It may not be where you want to go, but every step of the journey is important. We need them to get to the next steps. Then get moving again. Change is good. It can hurt, but it’s growth. If you have a chance, take it. I did and it turned out to be one of the best decisions I ever made. Don’t worry what others tell you, go with God and your gut. You’re the one living your life – not other people. Now – go rock it.

When It Just Doesn’t Work…And Then It Does

This one could also be called “Perspective Brings Contentment” but that just sounds boring, right?

If you read my last post, you know that last week was a “fun” week for me. Looking back, I could have handled so many things differently. (Self-reflection has been a thing for some of us at work this past year and man – is it ever a joy. Sike.) It wasn’t the worst, but I let so many things affect me in a negative way that, if viewed in a different light, really weren’t the end of the world. They were hard and there was no getting out of them, but totally deal-able. (For those of you who have been trying to tell me this for weeks/months/years, you can say it now. You told me so. And I’ll say this – you were right.) Some things I handled well and there were lots I didn’t.

It started with someone calling out for two days whom we were almost sure was going to end up quitting. This person was just plain miserable in what they were doing. While they were out, yours truly was covering for them and found a lot of incomplete items and some items simply not even started. Then, there was an incident that was not our fault, but some of our fault, that I ended up taking the fallout for. Talking to a friend that night, I asked for some advice as it seemed I needed to do something differently. “Be simple and to the point” he said. “Don’t be wordy, just state the issue, tell them to do their job and move on.” Guess what? I was given an opportunity to use that advice the next morning and it was pretty dang effective. See? I listen. Sometimes.

So by Wednesday morning my blood pressure was up to 137/107 and I was completely done in. We have a team meeting on Wednesday mornings and, since one of my guys took ownership of that meeting, I get to take a step back. (Yay for delegation!) During the meeting, he eluded to some of the issues and asked me to elaborate. I laid out some of the issues and basically said that everyone needed to be there everyday and get their own work done and stop worrying about everyone else. (I swear I can almost relate to parents some days! lol) A few of the guys took up the mantle and started to motivate the rest of them. It was pretty entertaining actually.

Afterwards, one of my employees caught me in the shop and asked me to walk with her. She wanted to offer to take over the job of the first guy in this story as she has done the job before. Her current job was pretty streamlined and would be a better fit for the first person that was struggling. We talked about it, worked out some kinks and guys, I practically cried. For those of you who know me, I cry about four to maybe six times a year so that’s something. This was a HUGE weight off of my shoulder as she was previously going to transfer to another department but decided she couldn’t leave me. (Right??? How cool is that?)

We offered the job transfer, everyone was happy and they started cross-training. All by lunchtime. Yep. We didn’t mess around on this one. When she did go to lunch, she brought me back a little present. (I may or may not have almost cried again.) It’s little and simple, and men’s (LOL) but they brought me back socks that said “World’s Best Boss”. People apparently go to lunch at Target and it’s a beautiful thing.

Another cool part of this story is a verse my friend sent me that Monday morning. Neither she nor I had any idea of how it was going to be a part of all of this, but that is one of my favorite parts. Check out Ephesians 3:20. Now all glory to God, who is able, through His mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think.

When she gave me this verse, it was about another work/life issue entirely, but do you see how well it worked in this situation? I didn’t come up with that idea, wasn’t even in part of my strategy – at all. Something was going on behind the scenes that I had no idea about and guess what? It was more than I even asked or thought.

If that wasn’t good enough, I drug my fine self to church on Sunday (it was one of those days I wanted a date with my bed but my friends convinced me to go) and got totally God-slapped. This is where the perception leads to contentment thing comes in. The lesson was this – our perspective has a direct link to our contentment. Who we go through things with, how we react to them, what we learn from them and how we benefit from them is all related. Rewind the past week or two and, if viewed with a different perspective, my experiences would be a great deal different. More than likely in the positive light.

Here’s one of the things we say at work a lot though – “Mistakes are proof you are trying”. If I wasn’t going through some of the things I did/am still going through, there would be no lesson to learn. Nothing to fall back on to do differently or try another way. The reward, once it comes, will be that much sweeter because I had to work harder for it. And the lessons learned on the way – priceless.

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