Tag: inner beauty

Wind Beneath My Wings

A few weeks ago, I received some really good news at work – a promotion and some wonderful perks that come along with one. It was a pretty low-key big deal and definitely welcome news. It’s always a risk when you move halfway across the country for a job and the promise of more – but I have to say it’s always worked out for me so far.

A new job in a new place is a little more to get used to than I like to admit, but it is always an adventure. The really awesome thing is that God always places someone in my life to help me figure things out.

Since it’s International Women’s Day and it’s all about women lifting others up, I’d like to thank my friend Nicole for being the one lifting me up so many times this past year.

Don’t know anyone around town? No problem. Want to check out some local restaurants? She’s there. You’re moving all by yourself? She was there armed with sandwiches, Sonic ice (I now understand how important this is!) and helped me unpack 6838376368 boxes. You love Christmas? She introduced me to one of the most incredible Christmas bazaars I’ve ever seen.

This woman has been there for me countless times in so many ways and for so many reasons. She’s taught me so much about how to just love on people – any people, anywhere, anytime. She’s so quick to give a compliment or thanks or just to smile at people.

So when I called to tell her my good news, she was so happy for me. And was uplifting even though I could tell it wasn’t her best day. And guess what arrived the very next morning at work? These flowers with this note. I was floored and moved to tears. But her note was the best of all – a woman celebrating another in their moment.

Nicole – thank you for being true to your very core. I’ve “known” you for years but I had no idea how incredible of a human you really are. I’m so thankful we got to meet in person, and that we’ve only grown our friendship since that day. I think you may have an idea, but I’m not really sure how well I would’ve gotten through this past year if I wasn’t for you. Seriously. You are a gem!

There are so many wonderful women in my life and I’m so thankful for the opportunities I’ve had to meet them. I’m not a girlie girl and didn’t always trust women or their intentions – it was always easier to be friends with the guys. But I’ve been thinking about something for awhile now and it has to do with taking chances and meeting people and seeing what cool female friendships develop from them. Some of my greatest friends came from random meetings and I’d love to talk more about it. Watch for more posts about this in the upcoming weeks.

Until then – lift up those women around you. You may never understand how much they needed you under their wings.

How We See Ourselves

Do you guys ever experience this?  You’re going about your own business and then someone plays a voicemail you’ve left them and all of a sudden you’re wondering if THAT is really what you sound like?  Or you catch what you look like on a zoom call or FaceTime and wonder why no one told you your eye makeup was smudged and your hair is a hot mess?

We tend to be our biggest fans and our worst critics.  We have this image of how we come across, how others see us, and how we impact others.  Only to see a picture or hear a voicemail and then all bets are off.  We spiral into a freefall thinking about how horrible we look, how much weight we’ve put on, and where the hell did all those gray hairs come from?

We tend to look at ourselves through a kaleidoscope that’s tinted with our own perspective. But you know what? That’s just as twisted as all the colors we used to see when we looked through those things. Because we shouldn’t be as concerned as we are with how we see ourselves (although I firmly believe we all need to fall in love with our own fine selves), as much as we should be concerned with how others see us. Just be kind. To everyone.

Now – let’s be straight here – I still struggle with what others think of me, but I’ve come a long way compared to how I used to be. I watched a TED talk recently where the lady was saying how we think we need “permission, community and curiosity” to have confidence. She slayed me. Really. Cause you know what? So often I’ve looked to others to raise my confidence when I don’t actually need it from them. I can have confidence in my God-given abilities, in my experience and in the opportunity I have been given to share them. If we give ourselves permission to defy expectations and surround ourselves with a community of supporters, who knows where our curiosity will take us?

So walk about in the confidence you’ve just given yourself to have and focus on others – that picture you’re wanting to see will paint itself.

You’re You. Stop Trying to be Someone Else.

Do you ever stop and wonder – what would it be like to have “their” life? To look like “they” do? To have the family “they” do?

Guess what? You’re killing yourself. Stop it. Now.

We as a society tend to put labels on everything. “She’s had a great career. She has the cutest kids. This girl has the best boyfriend. This one has the best taste in fashion”..etc etc

There is nothing wrong with admiring good traits and/or the successes of others. Everyone is unique and has different things to offer as far as personality and friendship and life lessons (the good. the bad. And the ugly!) We need to appreciate those traits in others around us.

But our biggest downfall? Ourselves. Thinking we’re not as good as those other people. That we’re not as attractive. We’re not as successful. And on and on and on. (And I’ve learned it’s not just us women who do this!)

I recognize this because I’ve done it myself – for years. Time and time again.

But here’s the cool thing – I’m my own person. And I’m awesome. Because I do my thing. That works for me. Even if it’s not “your” thing.

It’s taken me forever but I finally came to the realization that my life may not have turned out the way I thought it would ten or fifteen years ago. And want to know the best part? I. Am. Perfectly. Okay. With. That.

Why? Well. A lot of my personal desires have changed. Some because of situations and some because I simply grew up. As you develop as a person, you kinda get to know yourself. Crazy, right?

I was promoted. I learned a new job. Bought a house. Worked on wellness and personal boundaries. Made new friends. Nurtured relationships. Learned relationships change. Some get deeper and more intimate. And some tend to completely change or even end. Friends move on. Some stay around. Then, just to make things even more interesting, I moved my fine self across the country to try it all over again. That’s life my friends.

But here’s what’s bugging me tonight. How much I used to compare myself to others and how easy it is to fall back into it when things get hard. How what you knew is not what you know now. How (if you get your head out of your ass) you realize you’ve already past that and learned your lesson.

So try this: stop thinking you don’t have this or don’t have that. Start thinking about what you do have and what you’re awesome because of it. Recognize your beauty and personal accomplishments. Strength comes in all type of forms. But like everything else, you need to exercise it to maintain it.

Be strong my friends. And stay strong.