Do you guys ever experience this? You’re going about your own business and then someone plays a voicemail you’ve left them and all of a sudden you’re wondering if THAT is really what you sound like? Or you catch what you look like on a zoom call or FaceTime and wonder why no one told you your eye makeup was smudged and your hair is a hot mess?
We tend to be our biggest fans and our worst critics. We have this image of how we come across, how others see us, and how we impact others. Only to see a picture or hear a voicemail and then all bets are off. We spiral into a freefall thinking about how horrible we look, how much weight we’ve put on, and where the hell did all those gray hairs come from?
We tend to look at ourselves through a kaleidoscope that’s tinted with our own perspective. But you know what? That’s just as twisted as all the colors we used to see when we looked through those things. Because we shouldn’t be as concerned as we are with how we see ourselves (although I firmly believe we all need to fall in love with our own fine selves), as much as we should be concerned with how others see us. Just be kind. To everyone.
Now – let’s be straight here – I still struggle with what others think of me, but I’ve come a long way compared to how I used to be. I watched a TED talk recently where the lady was saying how we think we need “permission, community and curiosity” to have confidence. She slayed me. Really. Cause you know what? So often I’ve looked to others to raise my confidence when I don’t actually need it from them. I can have confidence in my God-given abilities, in my experience and in the opportunity I have been given to share them. If we give ourselves permission to defy expectations and surround ourselves with a community of supporters, who knows where our curiosity will take us?
So walk about in the confidence you’ve just given yourself to have and focus on others – that picture you’re wanting to see will paint itself.