change – Hoodies and High Heels

Return to Solo Dining

It’s been a minute since I went to dinner by myself (that wasn’t a hotel bar/restaurant) and I recently plunged back in to the solo dining experience in the coolest way.

On a road trip back to see my family and meet my new nephew, I decided I wanted to actually sit down somewhere and eat a real meal. Usually I grab some Jesus chicken through the drive thru and keep on rolling. However, this night I wanted real food and in a cool place if I could find it.

When this option was presented to me, I was all in. I was driving home for the 4th, and a restaurant from 1776 was available? Yes please!

This beautiful place is in downtown Wytheville, VA and was one of the most quaint, happily situated buildings I’ve seen in some time. The parking lot was full – even at 7:30, and some locals even walked in from nearby neighborhoods.

As I climbed to the porch and walked in the door (that you had to push a little hard to open), I was grinning in happiness. It was all old beams and stone and wooden floors that creaked….and a giant bear with Ben Franklin glasses was there to greet me! Night made – and I was barely inside.

They led me to a corner booth in a room that may have been the original living room. It was a mix of stone and wood and the coolest lighting. The booth was cozy and creaky and just fabulous. Not the roomiest, but it worked.

The menu, surprisingly enough, was not colonial and bland. It was southern gourmet and had some surprising options. I settled on their special – pork chop stuffed with apples and spices and stuffing with garlic green beans and a baked potato. Everything was so tasty and different and I throughly enjoyed it. The idea of a sit down meal? This checked all my boxes.

The solo dining experience was intimidating and yes, a little scary. There were a few other people in the room and most of them noticed me but went about their own business. You tend to think that everyone is staring at you when you dine alone and I finally realized it was all in my head. No one really stared awkwardly or pointed or said anything rude. The couple closest to me were actually on their phones the whole time. Me? I looked around and took it in and had one of the best meals in a place that was just magical to me. There were so many historical elements to it and just imagining who may have dined there 250 years ago (and all the years since) – it was such a fun experience.

And you know what? That first step made it easier to do again. I’m on a business trip this week and tonight, took myself to a Japanese restaurant that looked to have a fabulous menu. This time I brought a book with me to see how I liked that experience. The girl at the hostess station smiled at me when I said “Table for one” and told me there were a few other people who asked for that tonight. “Are you doing a solo date?” Yep. “Good for you. You’re going to love this place”.

She was right, I did. I had a fantastic meal and enjoyed every second of it.

There were two young couples at the table next to me and they didn’t stare but shared some looks when I left. But guess what? I’ll never see them again and my experience was for me and I loved it. Now I’ve been through that and survived, so the confidence to do this again just grew stronger.

So if you find yourself in a situation where you want to try a new place or even have an hour or so to yourself, just go. Alone. Even if you hesitate or take a pause, it’s ok. In that moment, ask yourself if your curiosity is greater than your fear, and just walk in. I have a feeling you’ll be glad you did.

For me, it was taking that first step in a small town in Virginia into an historical setting where I gained a new experience and regained my confidence to dine solo. Here’s to more hidden gem experiences in unexpected places!

Rock on.

You’re Not Who You Were Before

Life changes us. Constantly. We have highs and lows and then extreme highs and extreme lows. There are failures and successes, wins and losses, love and heartbreak. Beginnings and endings and ends and beginnings. Life is a crazy beautiful roller coaster of experiences and growth. Some of it is joyful and some of it is beyond painful. Some of it we never want to go through again – but yet it taught us some of life’s greatest lessons so we’re extremely grateful for (in an odd sort of way).

Then there’s an incredibly crazy thing that happens: we go through our valley experience and when we start climbing back out of it, we naturally start to go back to the way we were before. To our old thought processes and habits and just the way we used to do…all the things. But now, it feels off. Like something’s missing or not fitting correctly and we struggle because…we’re better now. We have it figured out, we clawed our way back to “where we were”, so why does it feel so weird?

You know why? Something so simple and so hard to grasp all at the same time. You’re not the same person. You’re just not. The experiences of what you went through and how you handled it and what you were taught through them, naturally changed you. Or it was a huge God lesson and then you experienced supernatural change.

Whatever it was or whatever it is, you have been changed inside – your heart, your manner of thinking, the emotional access you want to give sparingly instead of fully as you did previously…all of these things have an impact on who you are. And how you want to show up moving forward. Is it a bad thing? Absolutely not.

This is exactly what the parable about new wine in old wine skins is about. New wine expands as it ferments and the wine skins will need to be able to accommodate that expansion. If you put new wine in old wine skins, the old cannot accommodate the new growth, and trying to make it work will end up destroying them both.

I first experienced this when I moved to Tennessee. The new city and new job and not knowing anyone was daunting and a little scary, but hey, I had done all that in Colorado before and figured it all out. So, naturally I thought I just needed to do the same things in Tennessee. Nope. Nothing worked the same way or felt right and things fell apart quickly. It took me a bit, but I met a lady who shared with me that it sounded like I was trying to pour new wine in old wine skins. And it finally clicked.

The first half of 2026 was rough for me – heartbreak and endings and growth and new beginnings, both personally and professionally. The heaviness of work issues and family matters and my own personal growth- all of that has a way of changing a person. The past month or so has been one of seeing the results of that growth and healing and coming back into my own and making my way back to the things that I love and enjoy. All to realize…some of them don’t fit anymore. Or work the same. Or even look the same.

It took some processing to figure out just why I was feeling this way – new wine. Old skins. I don’t want to spill or ruin the new wine, so it needs to go into a new skin. Now, figuring out just what that new skin looks like and feels like is a process all on its own. One of exploration and adventure and development – and I’m learning the more open I am to what that looks like, the more fun the process becomes.

So if you’re going through a new season in life and things are not quite feeling the same or people are not jiving the same or you just don’t have the same feeling of satisfaction- it just may be that you are pouring new wine into an old skin. Once you come out of a season of heaviness or intense growth or extreme happiness, that new skin becomes something to explore and discover. My greatest hope is that you find out who you are becoming and who and what are going to come along with you on your journey. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find.

Clarity

It’s so funny how life goes round…and things we couldn’t understand before make their way back around and suddenly we see clearly what we couldn’t see before. Usually because the light is shining just a little bit differently.

All of the events of the past few months have entwined themselves into something that I couldn’t see before. Changes are just that – changes. If we could see them coming, they’d be just…events. Things. Stuff. Changes are hard. But if we don’t roll with the punches, we could end up limiting our own growth.

I’m not sure if things will be better or worse, but I can tell you I’m going to learn. And I’m going to grow. Because the other other option is to remain stagnant and I’m just not interested in that. Life is meant to be experienced – and if what we’re going to experience is going to be through a different lens than we had planned, the only option we have is to refocus.

We’re not always going to know what is ahead and we’re not always going to see what’s coming. But if you are confident and secure in your abilities, you’re going to adapt. And you’re gonna be just fine.

Sometimes I’m glad I don’t see what’s up ahead – the less time I have to think about something, the less I’m going to overthink it. And with everything that’s changed in the past eight weeks, I was able to take yet another change in stride. It’s going to be different and it’s going to be challenging, but I’m not afraid.

So at this point, if you have something new coming at you, roll with it. Just see what happens. Prepared or unprepared, you’re going to learn something about life and more importantly, yourself, through it. And you might just be surprised with how well you handle it.

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