Tag: changes

You’re Not Who You Were Before

Life changes us. Constantly. We have highs and lows and then extreme highs and extreme lows. There are failures and successes, wins and losses, love and heartbreak. Beginnings and endings and ends and beginnings. Life is a crazy beautiful roller coaster of experiences and growth. Some of it is joyful and some of it is beyond painful. Some of it we never want to go through again – but yet it taught us some of life’s greatest lessons so we’re extremely grateful for (in an odd sort of way).

Then there’s an incredibly crazy thing that happens: we go through our valley experience and when we start climbing back out of it, we naturally start to go back to the way we were before. To our old thought processes and habits and just the way we used to do…all the things. But now, it feels off. Like something’s missing or not fitting correctly and we struggle because…we’re better now. We have it figured out, we clawed our way back to “where we were”, so why does it feel so weird?

You know why? Something so simple and so hard to grasp all at the same time. You’re not the same person. You’re just not. The experiences of what you went through and how you handled it and what you were taught through them, naturally changed you. Or it was a huge God lesson and then you experienced supernatural change.

Whatever it was or whatever it is, you have been changed inside – your heart, your manner of thinking, the emotional access you want to give sparingly instead of fully as you did previously…all of these things have an impact on who you are. And how you want to show up moving forward. Is it a bad thing? Absolutely not.

This is exactly what the parable about new wine in old wine skins is about. New wine expands as it ferments and the wine skins will need to be able to accommodate that expansion. If you put new wine in old wine skins, the old cannot accommodate the new growth, and trying to make it work will end up destroying them both.

I first experienced this when I moved to Tennessee. The new city and new job and not knowing anyone was daunting and a little scary, but hey, I had done all that in Colorado before and figured it all out. So, naturally I thought I just needed to do the same things in Tennessee. Nope. Nothing worked the same way or felt right and things fell apart quickly. It took me a bit, but I met a lady who shared with me that it sounded like I was trying to pour new wine in old wine skins. And it finally clicked.

The first half of 2026 was rough for me – heartbreak and endings and growth and new beginnings, both personally and professionally. The heaviness of work issues and family matters and my own personal growth- all of that has a way of changing a person. The past month or so has been one of seeing the results of that growth and healing and coming back into my own and making my way back to the things that I love and enjoy. All to realize…some of them don’t fit anymore. Or work the same. Or even look the same.

It took some processing to figure out just why I was feeling this way – new wine. Old skins. I don’t want to spill or ruin the new wine, so it needs to go into a new skin. Now, figuring out just what that new skin looks like and feels like is a process all on its own. One of exploration and adventure and development – and I’m learning the more open I am to what that looks like, the more fun the process becomes.

So if you’re going through a new season in life and things are not quite feeling the same or people are not jiving the same or you just don’t have the same feeling of satisfaction- it just may be that you are pouring new wine into an old skin. Once you come out of a season of heaviness or intense growth or extreme happiness, that new skin becomes something to explore and discover. My greatest hope is that you find out who you are becoming and who and what are going to come along with you on your journey. You may be pleasantly surprised by what you find.

I Am A Writer

This title may come across strange, because I am legit writing on my blog, but it hasn’t been until recently that I felt the permission to state that claim. I have been writing things as long as I can remember – I’m pretty sure I wrote a short story in the fifth grade about some girl in a lake house. I can even vaguely picture the loose leaf paper I was writing on.

When I was in my 20s, I had a blog on a completely different platform, that I frankly can’t even remember the name of. But I remember writing a story about the time my roommate Lindsay and I found a mouse in our apartment and how I somehow became the official mouse disposer! (In unrelated news, there are probably a ton of wooden mouse traps with lil mouse bones in the forsythia bush across from our balcony.)

I’ve been writing posts in this blog since I was in my thirties and still, for some reason, thought it was too forward of me to claim to be a writer. I didn’t write professionally, I didn’t write regularly, and I wrote when I felt inspired. Or conflicted. Or wanted to encourage people in something I felt strongly about.

The ever so lovely Liz Curtis Higgs!!

In early 2024, I attended a writers conference in Louisville, KY led by the very fabulous, and very talented, Liz Curtis Higgs and I learned so much in two short days. I even got to meet Liz and have her sign a copy of one of her books I brought with me! She was the emcee of the event and I met some fabulous people and learned a lot from all sorts of writers. We attended speaker sessions, work shops and I still remember three of the ladies that sat at my table that first night.

I recently found a memento of that conference and it held some notes I had taken about some ways I was impacted by what I experienced. It also became apparent that I had broken a promise to myself – that night, I had committed to writing at least monthly. So, I am here to change all of that. If you like my writing and follow my blog, please look out for more. After all, I have a promise to keep!

In thinking back over my experience, I remembered a woman that I connected with and she told me about this writer Julia Cameron and her book called The Artist’s Way. She told me about a habit she learned through that book called Morning Pages and how she wrote three pages every morning. In my ignorance, I thought it was less and more than it is all at the same time. When I got home, I looked up that book and put it on my amazon Wishlist and there it sat. For over two years. Until last week. One of those random amazon notifications popped up on my phone, telling me something in my Wishlist was on sale. For once, it wasn’t arch support flip flops (yes, I’m old now), it was, you guessed it, The Artist’s Way. And not just the book, it was the starter kit.

I then learned something else, this little book of wonders is actually a 12 week course to unlock your creativity (ahem, Create just happens to be my word of the year) and Morning Pages is part of that. I am still working through learning what this is all going to look like, but here’s hoping this blog sees some of the fruit of that labor.

What is something that you dream of? Something that you wish you could say, I am a ______. If you do even a little part of that thing, you ARE that thing. Don’t let fear stand in the way of that dream you’ve been holding in your heart. Say it out loud. Give it some breathing room. Then go see what is meant for you.

A few months ago, I was lucky enough to hear Mignon Francois (look her up, her story is incredible!) speak and she said a few things that made me feel so strongly, that they’re written on my bathroom mirror. As you think about your dream, see if you can answer this question she so eloquently asked us – “What gift did God give the world when He made you?”

It is certainly something to think about.

Dream On!

Write. Something.

Center Hill Lake

This reminder has been popping up on my phone for the last two weeks. It’s one I added for myself and something I feel strongly about. Why? Because it’s something I really like to do. But I keep letting other things get in the way. Or I think others won’t care or relate to things I’d like to say. Things on my heart or mind (probably both) which are more than likely things others can relate to, but I’ve convinced myself they won’t.

Have I ever mentioned how much I love data? I’m fascinated by charts and graphs and numbers and all the things that show the results of just about anything. I think it started with early Excel data but it wasn’t as cool until I started using a FitBit years ago. Steps. Sleep patterns. Activity tracking by time of day. It was beautiful – and the data was there to help me make better decisions. To know when I needed to get up and walk or how I needed to change my sleep patterns. I won’t bore you with how excited I get with work data, but it’s captivating!

Then came Spotify Wrapped. A audio/visual utopia of your music listening history of the past year. Every December, my siblings and I can’t wait for it to come out – and then we share all kinds of data with each other and laugh at how much John Tesh shows up in my favorite artist categories. (Month End and a need for calming instrumentals is a real thing people!)

Now, your inbox is filled with all sorts of year-end data – how many times you made a Dunkin run, how many different drinks you ordered at Starbucks, the varieties of hotel brands you’ve stayed, the list goes on. And you all know my personal favorite, the number of books I’ve read in a year!

This data is fun and made to look cool but we all use it to make better decisions or little adjustments for the next year. Subliminally or not, this data affects us. “I’m going to read more books of substance this year” or “I should not drink that much coffee on the road” or “I’m going to listen to more genres of music and expand my horizons”. These are some of the reasons I’ve turned into a real data nerd. Turn it into visuals that can help you shape plans and decisions to make changes and grow, and you’ve created a monster. Don’t get me started on fleet and sales data for forklifts – I can be a real handful ; ) Just ask all the IT guys I’ve worked with over the last ten years!

Then there’s the report that surprises you. One that sticks in your mind more than the others. One you’re not particularly proud or happy with, but that’s what I love about data. It doesn’t lie. And its’ most redeeming quality is that it can set you free.

For instance? Imagine my shock when I received my WordPress wrap up of 2023 and it showed I only wrote one blog post last year. One. That’s it.

The funny thing is – I have at least 20 posts that I started and never finished. Cause life got busy. Or I wasn’t sure just how vulnerable I wanted to be. Or I was just plain lazy.

Hence the reminder to write. Something. I need to get back into the habit of writing things down and editing posts so they’re readable. Of sharing life’s crazy triumphs and troubles – because of COURSE you guys can relate. Even if it’s just one thing. That’s what cool about life – we’re all doing it together and we all have different experiences to share.

So? This is the first of hopefully many posts of 2024. There’s a lot of real reasons why there were so few last year but it mostly comes down to it was a year of growth. Deep. Humbling. And painful. And wonderful. Glorious. And more importantly ? Liberating.

Honestly, I’m excited. There’s a bunch of writing projects just rolling around in my head and my heart that desperately want to be let out. One will probably be a series and I’ve held off starting it because I couldn’t decide what kind of voice to give it. Or figure out what message I wanted to tell through it. But you know what? The best ones write themselves. You just need to let it find its voice and then sit down and let it flow. That’s when you know it’s inspired. In this case, I just need to corral it all together and then let it do its thing.

This year has already been one of planning, self-work, wonder, surprises and challenges. And purpose. And calling. And “I just want to be on a beach escaping life”. It’s gonna be a fun one, people! Hang on – it could be a wild ride.