How often is that the case? Life changes and we’re all good – just completely and utterly ready for it? That’s only if we’re even lucky enough to know that it is changing. Most of the time life just smacks us on the face, whether it’s a love tap or a straight up clothesline.
The challenge is how we react to it. How we present ourselves and what experiences we take from it. Will we end up being bitter or will we learn something? Will it move us upward or put us back a few steps? How will we even know if the taking a step back won’t ultimately propel us forward? Here’s a hint: you probably won’t even have a clue. At least not in the beginning.
I recently went through something just like this. Over the past few weeks, events were put in motion at work that I knew would eventually happen. I just thought I’d be so better prepared for when it did. I was even crazy enough to think that I could control it. Or at least change the narrative. It’s a step in the right direction, but it felt horrible. It’s a huge chance for growth, but it felt like a step back. I felt like a failure, but it is really a testament to my success. And the success of others around me. (Notice how many feels were in there? Just needed to get through them. It wasn’t easy, but so worth it in the end.)
If I’m being honest? My pride was hurt. But how better to learn to be humble? Humbleness is never an easy lesson. Mostly because it’s in our nature to be prideful. We take pride in our success. In our moving onward and upward. But what if that means taking a different set along the way? A breaking apart to build up? What then? Breaking apart anything is just painful. There’s no other way around it. It hurts your heart. It stings your pride.
This isn’t the first time it ever happened to anyone, and it won’t be the last. I know there is a path here – and it is one I’m actually excited to go down. I had get out of my own damn way and out of my head. Especially during this time when there was way more time to think to myself than normal. You get lost in your own mind and go down rabbit holes you never even imagined. And to be real – that part just sucks. There’s not really any way around that.
This change is a process and will continue to be one for some time. And it’s one of those big ones that makes your brain hurt once you spend enough time on it because you’re trying to process it all. Part of me was mad this happened now – when there is more than enough time on my hands. But part of me recognized the wisdom in doing it now – we have more time to make sure it is done right.
Just in the day since I started this post, things have improved for the better. I’m actually relieved there is less for me to worry about and ridiculously excited to plan new things and put things in motion I’ve been trying for months to get done. Realizing that it isn’t a step back, it’s just one on a more clearly defined path. Which, duh, makes all of this easier. (See what I meant about getting out of my own way?)
There were so many people who helped me work through all of this – you guys know who you are and I’m so thankful you’re in my life. It reminded me of when I was moving and how much people helped. Pretty sure I wrote about it. Shameless plug here – It Takes A Village.
There are a lot of people going through all kinds of change in this world right now. And no one person’s situation is the same and it affects us all in different ways. What I will say is that I know this situation of mine will work out for the better – as it already has. There is such an opportunity to learn from it and grow in it.
Our challenge right now is to take a step back from our circumstances, look at them from a different perspective and see what we are supposed to learn from them. My friends and I have been going through Habakkuk and the biggest lesson I’m learning there is that his circumstances didn’t change, he was changed. He complained, then listened and thought, and then ended up praising God for what He was doing. Here, God worked in ways Habakkuk never even imagined.
In essence, change is going to come even when the world is shut down. Change is the only constant – and it will always be there to challenge us in one way or another. My last two weeks have been horrendous, but I’ve grown more than I have in months. My dad told me it was building character – and he is so right. That’s why it was difficult, but worth it. Sometimes we really do need to backup to move forward. We just need to have the courage to do it.