Single and Quarantined

This new normal of ours has changed all of our lives – some more drastically than others. Some of us are at home with our spouses and kids, some of us are banned from our offices and then others have minimal change. I was talking to a coworker today who told me – other than not going to the movies – his life really hasn’t changed that much. He’s a homebody and things are weird, but kinda normal. (He’s one of the ones still in the office with us everyday).

But for the rest of us, everything is totally not normal. Kids are home. Supplies are limited. People are working from home. (I’ve heard stories of what UPS drivers had to go through that first week. Apparently thousands of people ordered desks and had them delivered to their homes.) People are doing all they can. To keep themselves and their families safe. And sane.

Then there’s another subset – those of us who live alone. Single or not, living alone in the midst of a pandemic isn’t the most fun thing to do. Even if you’re lucky enough to go to work everyday as part of an essential business, you still go straight home to your empty living quarters where nothing has changed since you left that morning. No one has rearranged the books. Or toys. Or living room. (I’m thinking of rearranging my bedroom, so it’s be nice if someone did that. Lol) No one is cooking dinner or there to listen about your day. No one to do….well, just about anything.

Now – you’ve heard enough from me before to know that there are weeks where it is just rough to be single. But it’s usually easy enough to get out of that funk. Go away for a long weekend. Go hang out in the mountains. Go out for a night on the town with the girls – there are a ton of possible ways to reengage and love life again. Until all those options are replaced by only video chats, phone calls and text messages. And that’s it. A coworker told me to not work too late today – and I said “Why? So I can go home and stare at the walls?”

A single friend said it really well last night – “I know a lot of people are struggling with what to do with their kids, but it would be nice to just have someone to look at.” And isn’t that the truth? Those of us who live alone can do puzzles, listen to audio books, exercise, read real books and cook with the best of them. But – we can’t do any of those things with another human being. We can’t play games or hash out our days with someone. We just – are.

Life is hard for everyone right now. Not one person is not struggling with something through this. But imagine carrying the constant burden of it all…the unknown, the anxiety, the “how do I care for my employees and keep them safe”, the “do I have enough of what I need” to the one we’re all avoiding – “what is going to happen if I get sick”?…by yourself? Not cool.

Every day is a battle mentally. Not to get up and get going, but to deal with issues throughout the day. Policies and protective measures at work are always changing. Coworkers and employees have concerns about health and safety. Customers need everything now and then no one needs a thing for days. Highs and lows – and then what is high and what is low changes every day. Sometimes it even changes throughout the day. All while remembering to spray or wipe down all the surfaces people touch around you. Or that you’ve touched. It’s mentally exhausting.

So be nice to your single friends. Check in on them with a text or a call or a letter. Something to remind them that they are loved and thought of. No matter how strong they make you think they are (or you know they are), I’m sure they’ll appreciate it. I know I do. It’s lonely being alone sometimes. But it’s even lonelier when you are alone all the time with no end in sight. And those people you’re quarantined with? Relish the hugs, the feel of their hand in yours, the pure joy of human contact. I haven’t hugged or been hugged, shaken or held a hand or even touched an arm in weeks. Be thankful for what you do have. Even if you just want to smack it. Ha!

P.S. We’re still okay through this. We are. We’re finding ways just like everyone else to get by. And we will. There will be dinner dates and movies and trips to the mountains and Avs games and life to live again. We just need to get through this part of the show first. Then the band can finally show up and we can get back to living life well.

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Sassy and classy. Sports, books and travel are three of my favorite things in life.

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