Ever feel this way? Like you don’t want to show up to whatever your friends are doing? Not because you don’t like them, but just because you don’t want to see people. Or be seen. I’m pretty sure most of us feel that way every once in awhile – even if we don’t like to admit it. I’ll admit it. I’ve done it a lot – showed up really late or not at all because I felt a certain way about myself or simply because I couldn’t even think about being seen. Kim? The social butterfly? Yep. What do you think the “Hoodies” part of this blog is about? Black hoodies, specifically. To show my dark side. Cause it’s there. And its usually a better idea to stay in than to expose the unassuming public to it. I’d probably lose a few friends. That’s when mean/I don’t give a shit Kim comes out. Yes – best to leave her at home. Sometimes. Most of the time.
You know what? It’s perfectly okay to be by yourself at times. Now, I’m not condoning turning into a hermit, but I want you to know that if you need you time – go ahead and take it. Sometimes you just need a mental break – or time to be lazy. Or to draw horns and a beard on that gorgeous arch-enemy of yours. Whatever works. You do you.
I will admit there are times I do this because I simply don’t want to be seen. I wouldn’t call it depressed, but I’d say there is a certain something holding me back. Today was one of those days – I don’t have any real friends yet where I stood them up, but I had wanted to go out and do a few things. Go to church (its just hard), take a walk by the new lake I found, get my nails done. But what did I do? Stay in and hung out on my balcony. Read two books. Took a nap. Ordered groceries. Did my laundry. Painted my own nails. Didn’t see a soul today.
You may think its sad, but hey. I don’t. It happens. There are days I just want “Kim time”. And this is one of those days. (And considering I know like three people here right now, it’s a little easier to do so!)
You may have a few more responsibilities than I do, but if you ever get the feeling where you don’t want to be in public and you have the opportunity to do so, go for it.
Sometimes you just need a break from your normal. Try it out sometime.