I’m not here to fit into your world. I’m here to make my own.

A long time ago, I was in the situation where someone asked me “How can you be busy?  You don’t have any kids!” I’m not sure how I responded but I don’t think it was very well.  I know the perception behind it – this person was raising four kids and had a very active life.  But that didn’t make me feel any better.  I was busy.  Just with other things than she was.  That does not in any way diminish me and my life.

In the past week, my sister gave birth to her third child.  It was a whirlwind for us as she was coordinating childcare, delivering her son, and then caring for him.  Along with her husband and other kids.  We’ve been helping her a lot and as I am spending time taking care of her kids, I am understanding what the other side of busy is.  I can take care of them for a few hours and I’m wiped.  But you know what?  It’s a good wiped.  It’s something I wanted to do and I wouldn’t trade time spent with those kids for the world.

Then there are nights like tonight.  I worked until 8pm, made dinner and sat down in a state of exhaustion.  There are different types of busy.  There are different walks of life.  I didn’t choose to be single.  I didn’t choose to not have children.  But that is where I ended up.  For now.  I just get extra time to choose 😉 But here’s the thing – I’m not less busy than someone with kids and a spouse.  I simply have other things that keep me running around like a crazy person.

There are people who feel I need to “go find someone” and then there are those are jealous of my “me” and free time.  Guess what?  That’s just the way it goes.  Do you know what the other side of the coin is?  People tend to think that because I’m single, I must have all this free time and therefore I can pitch in and do things for anyone and everyone.  I am totally generalizing here because there are many people who are sensitive to this and can relate.  However, this happens more often than not.  Even people very close to me have asked me to change my situation to accommodate others just because “you’re only one person”.

**side note – be careful about doing the same to married people without children.  The same rule applies.

I’m here to say that being a single unit is not always easy.  Sure I go out to dinner, hang out with lots of different people and go fun places.  I’m a very lucky chick with a lot of awesome friends. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have the same responsibilities of a home and finances and whatever else life has to throw at me.  Just think carefully the next time you put singles in a box with “They have time.  They don’t have kids.”  That box just may break on you one day.

 

2 thoughts on “I’m not here to fit into your world. I’m here to make my own.”

  1. Great post!! And our perspective totally changes with each life situation.
    -The single person wants to be married.
    -The married person wants children.
    -The married with children wants “free” or “me” time.
    -The “free” married people/empty-nesters want grandchildren.
    -The aging parent wants to be young again
    -The young want to be old
    And the list goes on!
    There’s lots of assumptions from everyone no matter the situation. I homeschool my kids so lots of people think I have all the time and energy in the world to do things because “I’m home”.. Ha!!! So far from it. Life is meant to be lived and enjoyed in each phase of life. The key is to be content in the place God has us. It’s not always easy, but He understands. It’s also good to show grace to those who just don’t get the situation we’re in because they’ve never experienced it. To love them anyways. I remember when I was 19 and nanny’d for 2 kids.. their mom would leave the kitchen counter top a mess (empty peanut butter jars, dirty breakfast plates, gross milk cups,etc) and I remember thinking, “I will NEVER do that with MY kids!!!” Haha! Oh if only my 19 year old self knew where my 39 year old self would be! We live, love and learn! Sorry for my rambling comment.. just some thoughts I have while preparing for another all nighter, sitting in a whelping box with 8 adorable Weimie pups! Love you girl.. and so thankful for our friendship 💗

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You’re so right! It’s all perspective. I remember you once said “we’re all waiting for something”. Whether it was for a job, a husband, kids, a house – whatever. We all experience that part in life – just in different stages. It’s so good to know that and to be able to respect others in whatever part they’re in. Love you too sugar!

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