Category: Life

You’re You. Stop Trying to be Someone Else.

Do you ever stop and wonder – what would it be like to have “their” life? To look like “they” do? To have the family “they” do?

Guess what? You’re killing yourself. Stop it. Now.

We as a society tend to put labels on everything. “She’s had a great career. She has the cutest kids. This girl has the best boyfriend. This one has the best taste in fashion”..etc etc

There is nothing wrong with admiring good traits and/or the successes of others. Everyone is unique and has different things to offer as far as personality and friendship and life lessons (the good. the bad. And the ugly!) We need to appreciate those traits in others around us.

But our biggest downfall? Ourselves. Thinking we’re not as good as those other people. That we’re not as attractive. We’re not as successful. And on and on and on. (And I’ve learned it’s not just us women who do this!)

I recognize this because I’ve done it myself – for years. Time and time again.

But here’s the cool thing – I’m my own person. And I’m awesome. Because I do my thing. That works for me. Even if it’s not “your” thing.

It’s taken me forever but I finally came to the realization that my life may not have turned out the way I thought it would ten or fifteen years ago. And want to know the best part? I. Am. Perfectly. Okay. With. That.

Why? Well. A lot of my personal desires have changed. Some because of situations and some because I simply grew up. As you develop as a person, you kinda get to know yourself. Crazy, right?

I was promoted. I learned a new job. Bought a house. Worked on wellness and personal boundaries. Made new friends. Nurtured relationships. Learned relationships change. Some get deeper and more intimate. And some tend to completely change or even end. Friends move on. Some stay around. Then, just to make things even more interesting, I moved my fine self across the country to try it all over again. That’s life my friends.

But here’s what’s bugging me tonight. How much I used to compare myself to others and how easy it is to fall back into it when things get hard. How what you knew is not what you know now. How (if you get your head out of your ass) you realize you’ve already past that and learned your lesson.

So try this: stop thinking you don’t have this or don’t have that. Start thinking about what you do have and what you’re awesome because of it. Recognize your beauty and personal accomplishments. Strength comes in all type of forms. But like everything else, you need to exercise it to maintain it.

Be strong my friends. And stay strong.

It Takes A Village

12 weeks ago, a business friend of mine called me and offered me a job. At a new company. In a new state. Across the country. To many people today, this is not outside the norm. People do it all the time. Maybe not across the country, but people switch jobs and states more often than I realized.

As per my last post, you guys know I accepted the job and was making preparations to tie up loose ends and make the trek to Colorado. I knew I was in for a crazy eight weeks of preparation, but I didn’t know how hard it was going to be. Selling a house, buying a car, trying to end a job well, make arrangements to live in Colorado, not to mention training someone to take my job over and endless introductory meetings with clients and vendors.

Some of you know what my last day, 1/26 was like. I settled on selling my house, purchased a car, quit my job of 17 years, said goodbye to some people who mean the world to me, and left my home State for a new one. All on the same day. Talk about emotional!

Then came the goodbyes – they were the hardest of all. I am not a classic crier people – but I’ve cried more in the last two weeks than the last few years combined. Family members, friends, coworkers. People who love me and have been a big part of my life for a long time. I’ve shared memories and events (some of them life-changing) with so many people and it’s hard to think of life far away from them.

Looking back on the last few weeks, I realize even though it felt like I was making 638948736 decisions and doing everything on my own, there were so many people helping me and I was ultimately taken care of. From packing to cleaning to moving things to goodbye dinners to meals, there are countless people who came along side to help me on this journey. Once I left on my road trip, I had people like Dana and Josh and April letting me stay and hang out with them.

There were many reasons why I even considered this change and then went about it. Some I’ve shared and some only God knows why. The point is that I’ve learned a lot through these 12 weeks and here is one of the most important ones – God did not return void. I was afraid I was going to leave my past job under less than desirable terms a few years ago. But justice prevailed and I was able to leave on terms better than I could even imagine.

The other cool thing? Kindness gets returned people. I received cards, letters and gifts from people I had no idea how I affected. My momma always told me there “is never an excuse not to be nice to someone”. I didn’t always agree with her, but it became something I strived to do. Be nice. Even if they aren’t. It’ll come back to bite them and repay you in the end. Even if it takes years.

I have to admit something though – this is a epic adventure I’m on and somewhere I’m still excited about it. But leaving is HARD. I was a mess last night wondering “What the frig did I just do???” I knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but I didn’t expect to have a rough time with it emotionally. The brevity of my decision and the exhaustion of the past weeks finally caught up with me. My friend also pointed out that I am grieving the life I left behind. And she’s right. I am.

But again – here’s the thing. Were the last twelve weeks hard as hell? Yes. Was it hard making decisions by myself on things I only half knew? Yes. But did I get though it? YES. Am I still glad I did it? YES.

I have no idea what the next few months hold and what awesome things I’m going to learn and experience. But you know what? I’m going to take advantage of it and LIVE. And grow. (Although I feel I’ve had enough of that for awhile. Lol)

So don’t forget to be nice to people. Help out someone you know who is going through a change themselves. Look for those opportunities. You can be part of their village. And don’t be afraid to step outside your own comfort zones and make a change if it’s needed. Hey – if I can do it, so can you!