RT 285 in southern Colorado

You know those people who always have the next goal in sight, their next milestone mapped out and a detailed plan of how to make that all happen? Yep. Guilty. I’m one of them. So what happens when you’re not sure what the next step is? No clue? No? Well, I’ll tell you. At least what happens to me.

Lack of focus. Intermittent laziness. Slight depression. Frustration. No sense of purpose. Questions if I’m in the right place. An inherent desire to find the missing….something.

Let me back up a bit. I’m the oldest child. Pretty bossy. A planner of next steps. And other similar traits. I was always getting ready for something. School. High school. Work. Travel. Back to school – college. Promotion. Better situation with more potential growth. I don’t really remember a time when I didn’t have something in mind. Something lined up. Something I was working towards.

The friggin awesome part of this story is – all the above? Done. Checked off. Accomplished. As outlined in past posts, insert and insert, I had a mountain of help along the way.

But I’m in this kind of a weird place now. I worked really hard, put in way too many hours, took a bunch of crap, but thank God, I was able to accomplish a lot of what I set out to do in this job in Colorado. It was awesome, took a nose dive, got worse, settled out, morphed again and got crazy busy and then finally settled down.

That’s not to say that anything is wrong with what I’m currently doing. Cause it’s not. Not at all. I’m working under 50 hours a week. I have time to think. Take on other projects. All the hard work of the past three years brought me to this point. Everything is good. But….I have no clue what is next. None.

Kim! You may say….there’s a ton of possibilities. Go get a MBA. Look for another opportunity. Go for a promotion. Volunteer. Start a side hustle. Go climb a mountain. Or start training to climb one.

But the funny thing is – I just can’t figure out what’s next. I was really feeling restless a few weeks ago and I went to the mountains on Easter Sunday to talk with God and figure it all out. You guys wanna know what His answer was? To wait. Yep. One of the hardest things ever.

So. I’m waiting and feeling some things out to see if they’ll work and if they’re what I would like to do. Nothing huge and life changing – because I need to wait to see what’s next.

Again, as this planet spins ‘round the sun, things are changing. I started writing this a few weeks ago, and then a few things happened to where I had to work a lot of hours lately. But, no biggie. We can handle that every once in a while right? That’s called life. But there are more changes coming that, while they may not affect me directly, they could change a lot of things.

I’m guessing the lesson here is to identify when you’re feeling restless, ask for guidance in that, and then see what happens next. I for one am pretty excited about the possibilities.

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Sassy and classy. Sports, books and travel are three of my favorite things in life.

8 thoughts on “Visibility”

  1. Hey girl… I get it now. I get why we have such a connection. You just described me to a T! Always restless and looking for the next thing. Some may question that, as I was with the same organization 27 years! But, my business card changed every few years.

    Been here: “Lack of focus. Intermittent laziness. Slight depression. Frustration. No sense of purpose. Questions if I’m in the right place. An inherent desire to find the missing….something.” … and also the oldest! Haha

    Now, I’ve moved across country. I was already feeling restless at the one year mark. Then, wham! The Big C diagnosis. So hard to slow down… but the alarm bell rang loud enough this time, and now I’m working part-time while focusing on my return to health. This is a new challenge! Didn’t even get through week 2 without over working! Haha

    I’m slowing down and excited to see where this road takes me.

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Wow! Well, no wonder! But then – we’re both pretty awesome 😉 lol!

      I love knowing you’ve been down this path as you’ve always seemed to have your ish together. So there’s hope for me! The fact you understand all my weirdness in those feelings is comforting. Thanks!

      I’m glad to see you’re still out adventuring and keeping your spirits up. I think of you often and I’ll keep praying for you.

      Slowing down is hard but sometimes it’s because there’s something awesome around the bend. Like the first view of the Collegiate Peaks on 285 😉

      Love ya!


  2. I can totally relate. Waiting is the most challenging thing for me. It’s the uncertainty, the unknown, the what’s next? So many questions! But, you’re right, He holds us in the waiting. I’m not the oldest, but I did the move across the country and go back to school, now what thing.. Keeping you in my prayers as you navigate the waiting.

    Liked by 1 person

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