Visibility

You know those people who always have the next goal in sight, their next milestone mapped out and a detailed plan of how to make that all happen? Yep. Guilty. I’m one of them. So what happens when you’re not sure what the next step is? No clue? No? Well, I’ll tell you. At least what happens to me.

Lack of focus. Intermittent laziness. Slight depression. Frustration. No sense of purpose. Questions if I’m in the right place. An inherent desire to find the missing….something.

Let me back up a bit. I’m the oldest child. Pretty bossy. A planner of next steps. And other similar traits. I was always getting ready for something. School. High school. Work. Travel. Back to school – college. Promotion. Better situation with more potential growth. I don’t really remember a time when I didn’t have something in mind. Something lined up. Something I was working towards.

The friggin awesome part of this story is – all the above? Done. Checked off. Accomplished. As outlined in past posts, insert and insert, I had a mountain of help along the way.

But I’m in this kind of a weird place now. I worked really hard, put in way too many hours, took a bunch of crap, but thank God, I was able to accomplish a lot of what I set out to do in this job in Colorado. It was awesome, took a nose dive, got worse, settled out, morphed again and got crazy busy and then finally settled down.

That’s not to say that anything is wrong with what I’m currently doing. Cause it’s not. Not at all. I’m working under 50 hours a week. I have time to think. Take on other projects. All the hard work of the past three years brought me to this point. Everything is good. But….I have no clue what is next. None.

Kim! You may say….there’s a ton of possibilities. Go get a MBA. Look for another opportunity. Go for a promotion. Volunteer. Start a side hustle. Go climb a mountain. Or start training to climb one.

But the funny thing is – I just can’t figure out what’s next. I was really feeling restless a few weeks ago and I went to the mountains on Easter Sunday to talk with God and figure it all out. You guys wanna know what His answer was? To wait. Yep. One of the hardest things ever.

So. I’m waiting and feeling some things out to see if they’ll work and if they’re what I would like to do. Nothing huge and life changing – because I need to wait to see what’s next.

Again, as this planet spins ‘round the sun, things are changing. I started writing this a few weeks ago, and then a few things happened to where I had to work a lot of hours lately. But, no biggie. We can handle that every once in a while right? That’s called life. But there are more changes coming that, while they may not affect me directly, they could change a lot of things.

I’m guessing the lesson here is to identify when you’re feeling restless, ask for guidance in that, and then see what happens next. I for one am pretty excited about the possibilities.