A long time ago, I was in the situation where someone asked me “How can you be busy? You don’t have any kids!” I’m not sure how I responded but I don’t think it was very well. I know the perception behind it – this person was raising four kids and had a very active life. But that didn’t make me feel any better. I was busy. Just with other things than she was. That does not in any way diminish me and my life.
In the past week, my sister gave birth to her third child. It was a whirlwind for us as she was coordinating childcare, delivering her son, and then caring for him. Along with her husband and other kids. We’ve been helping her a lot and as I am spending time taking care of her kids, I am understanding what the other side of busy is. I can take care of them for a few hours and I’m wiped. But you know what? It’s a good wiped. It’s something I wanted to do and I wouldn’t trade time spent with those kids for the world.
Then there are nights like tonight. I worked until 8pm, made dinner and sat down in a state of exhaustion. There are different types of busy. There are different walks of life. I didn’t choose to be single. I didn’t choose to not have children. But that is where I ended up. For now. I just get extra time to choose 😉 But here’s the thing – I’m not less busy than someone with kids and a spouse. I simply have other things that keep me running around like a crazy person.
There are people who feel I need to “go find someone” and then there are those are jealous of my “me” and free time. Guess what? That’s just the way it goes. Do you know what the other side of the coin is? People tend to think that because I’m single, I must have all this free time and therefore I can pitch in and do things for anyone and everyone. I am totally generalizing here because there are many people who are sensitive to this and can relate. However, this happens more often than not. Even people very close to me have asked me to change my situation to accommodate others just because “you’re only one person”.
**side note – be careful about doing the same to married people without children. The same rule applies.
I’m here to say that being a single unit is not always easy. Sure I go out to dinner, hang out with lots of different people and go fun places. I’m a very lucky chick with a lot of awesome friends. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have the same responsibilities of a home and finances and whatever else life has to throw at me. Just think carefully the next time you put singles in a box with “They have time. They don’t have kids.” That box just may break on you one day.